The Mirror Effect

Let’s talk about a popular concept especially within the spiritual community.

Mirroring.

I’m sure you’ve heard or seen it- basically it subscribes to the idea that when we see something we dislike in another, it’s actually something we’re seeing mirrored in ourselves. The idea is we need some healing and/or work in whatever area we are at odds within this person. For many things, this can be true. But I have an unpopular opinion about this concept when it comes to our personal values. I’ll go even further (and most likely upset some people) and say that the mirroring concept

keeps.

empathetic people.

on spiraling loop of “fixing” themselves.

Hear me out. Think about this with critical thinking for a moment... if every bad thing you witness in this world is a mirror of ourselves, well, then we are in big trouble. We really must learn discernment. Are we being hijacked by our shadow (as Xavier Dagba puts it) and not allowing ourselves to feel safe in being whole as we are? Or is it truly something we should work on?

Look, we will all encounter bad traits from our darkest side. We will have “bad” thoughts from time to time. Have you learned to become a witness to those bad thoughts and laugh at them? Do you stay true to your values and integrity and make a conscious choice to NOT act on them? Well, then that reflection or projection doesn’t mean anything except you’ve earned and owned your thoughts and practicing awareness.

Empaths especially have a tendency toward creating a cyclical pattern of shame. If you find yourself upset or frustrated about Racism or Inequality, sure, you may need to let go of attempting to control or change others. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a racist or say homophobic.

Do you know, own and honor your Values? Your Morals? Do you act and respond with Integrity?

Or do you act on “bad” thoughts and impulses?

Maybe a gentle reminder of something inside yourself to examine, sure. None of us are free from the reflection of our inner selves. But to continually dig within yourself to find faults, and sometimes creating false faults is not going to propel you towards love. (well, hello darkness; there’s something wrong with me, it’s not safe to feel that I’m not at fault)

There is always room for improvement, but boundaries, folks!

Bottom line, sometimes we’re simply in ta drowning wake of a person full of hate and rage, or a narcissist, or someone who unfaithful in their relationship and displaying their ugly side.

Sometimes it’s our intuition warning us about someone we’re interacting with. Trust Your gut. Trust that shit. Don’t waste your precious time shaming yourself into creating false scenarios about your own personal integrity!

We have to learn and practice discernment & healthy boundaries.

We all know if we don’t express anger, it comes out as hate and rage more often than not in the form of reacting. Is that yoga in action?

On the flip side, let’s not think we’re perfect.

And hey, if you find someone projecting a mirror image reflection of a part of yourself that needs work? Well, say thank you for the awareness. Have compassion for yourself, not shame. Begin to bring awareness to that part of yourself and allow it to meet the moment as you make conscious choices not to engage in that behavior or action.

Don’t berate yourself! This happens a lot within yoga & spiritual communities... we berate and shame ourselves (and others!) for feeling and expressing anger (which, by the way, is not acting out with aggression) and we need to stop confusing the two... but that’s another topic we’ll discuss another time.

Use your critical thinking. I mean, do any of us really think we are perfect? 😉